It's time to share about something that left me with an "I'll never be the same again," world-rocking, euphoria-unlocking experience that words can merely scratch upon the surface... an ordeal that has taken me to meet myself and divine lovers in a way I couldn't fathom as possible.
My loves, that would be the cervical orgasm. You might think I'm being dramatic here, but truly, it is something I don't want you to blow over. It truly does deserve some limelight. And no, this is not one of those Cosmopolitan headliners that leaves you feeling shameful you can't keep up with the latest trend. This is (fingers crossed) a transmission of expanding your world through the deep divine waters of what your sex life could be like, far from the cheap seats of the raunchy, shallow porno you got your hands on at age 13 and kept returning for more quick finishes (PS: No shaming here, beautiful humans, this has been how many of us learned sex and just underscoring the contrast 🙂 ).
The cervical orgasm is less about a peak explosive release of tension and more about the full-body pulsations of ecstasy that take us on a ride. This ride entails out-of-this-world, out-of-this-body waves of ecstasy overtaking your entire existence. And Dear ones, I'm letting you in on a big secret that even sex therapists aren't going to share with you: it is deeper than the physical sensations, it is about the heart and soul.
The cervix is deeply connected to your heart - truly, they are not separate. The heart serves as a stream of communication to your consciousness from your soul, through emotion. Your sacred heart is not separate from your soul and your cervix is not separate from your heart. So, this orgasm is a pathway and a portal to connect deeply into the heart and the soul.
The journey of the cervical orgasm is not about asking your partner to position a certain way or rub at a certain speed, though, absolutely this may be part of it, there's some things you will benefit from prior to setting any expectations of achieving this holy grail. This orgasm of full-body ecstatic pleasure transporting you into out-of-body and into another realm and reality requires heart-opening and true surrender. The kind of vulnerable heart opening that means softening, releasing the protective shells of the heart. The minute these walls are up and the armor goes on, our cervix will close.
Unfortunately, for so many of us, these walls have become the default, the way we move through life always having a guard up (even just a bit) to hide the shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness, never letting them be seen for fear of rejection. These walls that protect us from potential future heartbreak are also keeping us from the immense love our heart and soul beats for, yearns for, burns for. Though, many lives are lived never experiencing what is underneath / beyond these shells of protection.
For this soulful destination of pleasure-rich, sacred openness, safety is needed: physically, emotionally, energetically. A heart needs to feel safe to surrender, to open. After all, the cervical orgasm IS a sacred act of surrender.
This act of full surrender takes time to come (pun intended) and, most likely, requires inner work. It calls for courage and readiness to face the pain that has been stored in the vaginal walls as layers of armor - our magical pelvic bowl absorbing the pain so our heart doesn't feel it so much.
Opening to the cervical orgasm may be easier for those who have already been doing this inner work, working in safe spaces to release shame and heal trauma, or for those who are already sexually surrendered. And if you do nothing else after reading this, remember wherever you are in your journey, it is exactly perfect, you are exactly where you are supposed to be for your unique and beautiful journey.
Intentional acts of de-armoring the tissues of our vaginal walls can be incredibly beautiful and healing. We can de-armor the heartbreak, the stories of being unworthy of love, hidden in the ripples of contracted flesh inside our sacred Yoni temple. By gently applying pressure to these wise walls with your own fingers or of a lovers' (on your terms), a crystal wand, or more passively with a yoni egg, and being present with what comes up for you emotionally to be released, allowing it to be expressed and moved through you, you are communicating with your cervix, the doorway to your womb. You are creating space for Her to know that it is safe to open. This takes time, patience, presence, and love.
Be kind to yourself and trust that She will let you know when she is ready. Anything premature of the full body yes you are waiting for may result in more pain and trauma for your flower! Let her blossom naturally. When she invites you in (and trust me, she speaks through not-so-subtle invitation, drawing you, confidently persuading her guests into her palace when it's a soul and body yes), using a crystal wand can be a beautiful way to gently apply pressure for this alchemy on your own. Explore with a tender touch and follow her lead! Keep surrendering through your heart, with your breath (it helps to soften in your whole body as you elongate the exhale and open the heart to receive) and allow yourself to be immersed with deep womb + belly pleasure that is likely to make you cry, scream, leave your body, laugh, or all of these primal sensations simultaneously as you release [generations] of stored emotions, all at the same time accompanied by deep bliss.
As you develop this connection to your cervix, embrace the tears that come along. As we break down the walls of protection and shame that keep us from our pleasure potential and practice the sacred art of surrender, we become raw and vulnerable - in the most beautiful way. We are allowing ourselves to be seen and felt fully in our totality, no more walls, no more armor. This is where our hearts are healed, our power unlocks, our innate worthiness of deeply divine pleasure is experienced, and our soul receives the sweet taste of liberation. Let the tears flow, allow the release and being cracked with open.
This can all happen on your own or with deeply connecting with another (ahh, a blessed Lover they would be!). Through this alchemy of your powerful and wise womb, you receive an experience of Sacred Union, merging with your Divine Self who knows no limits, no fears, no shame or guilt. You remember your essence. Doing so with another is deeply fulfilling on both a soul and human level, to be witnessed in this intimacy and vulnerability, to be with an open and safe and trusting heart. It helps if this partner is also aware of the sacredness and depth of this type of orgasm, though not necessarily required. What is required is for such a partner to have capacity to hold space through true presence - the cervix demands and requires this level of respect. If your partner is stuck in performance mode and simply trying to get you (or himself) off, the cervix will likely lock up the wellspring of pleasure and ecstasy that awaits. The cervix strongly prefers the tantric approach of no expectations, no rush (actually, you may find she desires hours of revving up your arousal in order to open), and truly enjoying each sensation that is part of the experience.
Perhaps I am taking Writers' liberty here, but it's worth noting that my own heart knows that there is not much else in this world that exceeds the alchemy in sharing this divine experience with another trusted soul, taking you to melt into your multi-dimensional essence in complete liberation.
Lastly, I want to remind you that your cervix knows. She always knows and she does not lie. She knows when it is appropriate for the walls of armor to be up (rightfully so in many circumstances). She knows when it is a safe environment to co-create with a Beloved, when you are ready to face what has been hidden beyond the shells of protection, and when you are ready to listen to what the soul wants to share in this profound way that inevitably happens with this unlocking. Treat her well, nourish Her with reverence, and trust Her.
If you are feeling the interest, a persistent curiosity to explore this cervical orgasm, then your soul is calling you. Pursue it. Get ready to be cracked open. Get ready for a heart explosion and being met with pulsations of deep pleasure transporting you into the most divine expression of euphoric soul connection.
If you are feeling called to dive deeper into your sensuality, expanding your pleasure, intimacy, and sexuality (including healing the wounds and shells), send me a message (mel@redefineandthrive.com) and let's chat xx.
Lots of love hunnies+ have fun exploring your womb magic!!!
xx, Mel
I guide women to unlock their authentic and radiant codes, releasing the shells built by shame/guilt/fear, so they can walk in their power and worthiness in the world, feeling liberated and confident to attract and experience pure abundance, bliss, deep divine love and ecstasy as a result.
If you are ready to go deeper into this work, alongside other women on the journey, check out my 10-week women's program Reclaiming Femme (hosted LIVE twice per year).