Carrying Trauma in the Body
Updated: Jan 30, 2020
Vulvodynia - a chronic pain syndrome that affects the vulvar (female genital) area and occurs without an identifiable cause. Symptoms typically include a feeling of burning or irritation.
Vulvodynia can be so uncomfortable that some activities can feel unbearable.
Pain may be constant or occasional and can last for months or even years, then vanish as suddenly as it started.
Have you ever heard of it? Good chance you haven’t, even if you have experienced it or something similar.
It might happen out of the blue, maybe after sex, maybe it happened when you were 5 years old watching tv when you weren’t receiving the love your heart yearned for or not being seen. It could happen during times of stress, or loss.
I experienced this when I was a small child… and you know what? I completely forgot (blocked from my conscious memory due to the shame/embarrassment that was too much to face?) until a woman shared with me, asking if she thinks her experience of it was connected to the Inner Child work we were doing.
Western medicine often denies the phenomenon that the body carries trauma, pain, suffering for us, though it is very evident and what other traditions have known for thousands of years has been proven by science (recommended book: The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma).
Maybe it’s not this pain, but it is chronic UTI’s or yeast infections, or so often, it is numbness not allowing you to experience orgasm or your pleasure potential.
The point is, as women, we hold a LOT in our bodies and Yoni’s (the entire womb space, ovaries, vulva, the whole pelvic bowl).
Every emotion that isn’t processed because, on some level - oftentimes not even consciously, pushed it down because it was painful to face, deemed inappropriate to express, out of avoiding being called ‘too much’. Every situation we pushed down because it was too painful for our minds - our bodies held onto it. Sometimes of our own personal experiences, sometimes of our mothers and grandmothers, sometimes collective of situations not seemingly personal to us at all.
It’s time to let it go.
We honor the whole spectrum of emotional experiences as full as they are coming in…
The anger, fear, rejection, hurt, love, excitement, happiness, laughter, rage, pleasure..
Especially in the moment as much as you can, or shortly after, and also do the deep Inner Work of Surrendering to let go of what has been stored for years, or lifetimes.
We honor the Shadow Sides of you who felt at one point…
Unloved, unseen, small, unworthy. Love them so hard and see them so fully and embrace them until they feel nourished. Until the heaviness shifts into light, and let it expand into vast love.
This transmutation of the experience from heaviness to light needs to genuinely happen within you in order to shift it. The surrender needs to be so deep and somatic (on a body-level) that the body actually releases.
This work we are doing in RECLAIMING FEMME is profound. It is deep and so beautiful. Witnessing the shifts that are happening feels like pure magic, yet it is so raw and very real.
Let us all embody our Divine Essence, the part of you that does a happy dance every layer of pain that is released, every moment of courage that reveals your inner light and every moment of vulnerability that deepens your connection to something much greater than the logical mind typically running the show.
The ego looks for ways to confirm this and stay in the identity.
Tune into your DIVINE ESSENCE to see beyond it. And remember, you are incredible and worthy of so much love, peace, and joy exactly as you are. Yes, we have many layers to peel away, but no need to unpack the whole suitcase at once.. even one small item out of the bag at a time is profound opening to your magic, allowing your infinite, powerful essence to emerge.